Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Possible, but is it worth it?

My first and last posts have proved to be my most discussed, both on the internet and off. I'm going to say one final word on the topic of "Can boys and girls just be friends?"

And my final comments (until somebody else asks me about it, of course!) consist of the following two sentences:

1) Yes, but it's not always worth it.

2) It's always best to be honest and open with people about your "quirks" or "faults" if you want them to be your friend. Otherwise, all types of confusion can - and probably will - ensue.


leilani said...

Firstly - love the blog.

Secondly: I think your advice re: "the friend zone" is awesome. It took me months of struggling with a friend to reach that conclusion on my own. Let's face it, we all have unappealing facets to our personalities, and showing them a little more (or A LOT) is a perfect way to get rid of those unwanted loving feelings! In my experience at least. So thanks!

Keep the advice coming... maybe next time I'll find it before I endure five months of whining from a boy friend. :)

Benny said...

Thanks, Leilani, I appreciate it!

I think that, more than getting rid of "loving feelings," it just reminds us of the reality that none of us are as great as we seem when we're built up in somebody else's head. I think that applies to all kinds of relationships, too- like friends who hang out with you because they think you're cool or are going to make them cool.

I'd also say that, even when it comes to people you're actually attracted to, honesty and openness are not so bad.

This may be an out-on-a-limb theory, but sometimes I feel like the reason we withhold information about ourselves from people we have feelings for is not because we are afraid that they'll misjudge us but because we want to feel like we are somebody else when we are with them.

lalalalauren said...

Well said. I think it's totally possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex but really hard if you've already passed a certain point with physical or emotional involvement. If you go back to being "just friends" after being lovers, new walls have to be built and it's just going to be painful.
I like your theory about honesty in boy-girl friendships. It makes a lot of sense. Some of my best friends in the world are guys. I love them a lot but would never date them simply because I know way too much about them.